"The Opposite of Should is Desire" with Leah Pardee

What beliefs held you back most when it came to starting to live as your true self? Do you have something you wanted but didn't think you could? Why not? 

After reading Leah Pardee's book "Confessions of an Uncaged Soul", I knew she'd be a great fit for our podcast. Leah's book shares her real-life healing experience; she discusses her beliefs and what held her back the most when it came to starting to live life as her true self - things that I could so easily relate to.

In our latest podcast episode with Leah, she talked about how to move through fear so you can manifest your most fully expressed life and live the most out of it with your true self.

It's crucial because what if we continued to hold these beliefs that limit our ability to share our information or story with the rest of the world? Wouldn’t we be causing more harm than good?

Here are some pieces of insights and wisdom Leah shared with us.

The biggest reason people fail in business is that they aren’t willing to be consistent with their mindset.

The entrepreneurial journey is one factor that helped and forced me to do the inner work. When I first committed to meditation and journaling, my driving force was because of my commitment to start a business. 

If I want my business to thrive, my mental state has to be at least capable of the work I want to put in. Entrepreneurship is not easy, and most people fail because they aren't able to get their mindset consistent. 

It won't all be sunny and there will be bad business days. And when that happens, it's important to not beat yourself for it and be consistent with why you started in the first place. Your desire is one big factor to have a consistent mindset. 

Unconditional self-love is more than just self-care.

Everything I took in my journey was terrifying for me, and that's because of perfectionism. I was terrified of losing myself in front of everyone. I was thinking about who is watching me on the internet - "are they judging me?" - and all these things.

My desire to pursue this path forced me to confront my perfectionism. It helped me to love myself in a deeper sense by repeatedly saying not to beat myself up for every mistake, and that putting content out there doesn't have to feel perfect. 

It's not going to feel good enough until you do it for a long time. Little by little it helped a lot to reframe my mind and love myself, which is a kind of self-love that is more than just self-care. It's unconditionally loving yourself even when you don't feel loveable or worthy. 

There would be times when I'm telling myself that I'm not good enough because I don't have XYZ yet, or I haven't done XYZ yet. And then I consciously ask myself, "Is that true?".

It was really helpful catching myself in those negative thoughts spirals, forgiving it, and saying...

"You know what. No! I love myself. I'm not gonna beat myself up about this. We're moving on".

It's really important to look at the conditions we're putting on ourselves when it comes to love. Do you think you need to achieve something for you to feel that you're good enough? If yes, then what is it?

A lot of us think about self-love this way, like "I have to have a perfectly clean house and eat super healthy and go to love myself."

What we're missing out on is the word "unconditional". We do play so many conditions for us to love ourselves when it shouldn't be the case.

Bottomline:

We get so clouded by many things, but the "biggest cloud" is the thought of being pressured about what everyone else is thinking. It pushes us into a spiral of "what should be done". 

And sometimes, these "shoulds" are the opposite of our intuition. For example, I should stay on this path because this is what I went to college for. Or I should do this because this makes good money. You think you should do whatever it may be even though it's the opposite of your intuition because that "should" represents other people's perspectives too. Right? 

Other people want you to do this, something like what society tells you should, even if it's the opposite of what you desire, which is your intuition. 

So, before this blog ends I want you to think about, "What do I desire? What would feel good?". 

Permitting ourselves to follow "THAT" is everything.